WARNING: This entry contains triggers. Hang on to your hats. In 2003 I had the opportunity to spend time in a facility dedicated to helping extreme cases of potential health hazards. This is a flowery way of saying I spent a week in-patient at a local “behavioral health hospital.” And another two weeks out-patient. I … More This One Is For The Black Hole
I always feel a little odd when a character I’m writing ‘speaks’ to me. The sad part about having dissociative episodes (thanks to my good ol’ PTSD) is that I tend to look at such characters askance. I sure as hell overanalyze them and it takes a while for me to let go long enough … More Sour Worms
Back in November of 2021, I was diagnosed with cancer. I met with oncologists, went through chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and have been given a (mostly) clean bill of health. There’s only one problem: pain. Six months out from the end of my treatments, I’m still in enough pain daily to warrant opioids, medical marijuana, … More Broken On The Wheel
Sometimes, the Internet is a painful place. Actually, it isn’t the ‘net’s fault for holding onto things I’d forgotten about. But it hurts all the same. I’d like to tell you the story, since it’s fairly complicated. About twenty years ago (so this is way before I transitioned), I was in graduate school. It was … More A Life Less Lived
I had a conversation with my therapist…oh, a couple years ago now. About perspective and reality; I question both. Deeply and frequently. As an author, I very often put my mind into places that technically don’t exist and I can stay there for days at a time. By the definition I learned back in college, … More The Psychotic Author
Smear CampaignsCovert predators spread falsehoods to slander your reputation and degrade your credibility to others…They may gossip behind your back, slander you to their or your loved ones, create stories that depict you as the abuser while they play the victim, and claim that you engaged in the same behaviors that they are afraid you … More Gossip Grenade
I do realize that I write about trauma very often. For those who don’t care or don’t connect with it, just leave this space blank in your mind. Move on to something else. Perhaps a nice cup of tea or something. This time, I want to talk about how insidious the trauma response is. I’ve … More Trauma Poison
As I mentioned in an earlier post, back in January, I had the opportunity to go on retreat for five weeks in the mountains outside of Santa Fe, NM. There were about thirty of us, from all walks of life and mostly from the Midwest and West Coast; I was one of the few from … More The Mormon And The Atheist
I’m going to talk about some…difficult material. If you need not to read this and move on to something light and fluffy, like funny cat pictures, I certainly won’t hold it against you. But you’ll want to do it now, because it’s going to get dark. For those who remain: I’d like to introduce you … More Triggered
When the COVID-19 lockdowns began, I had only been back home for three weeks. Prior to that, I’d spent five weeks in the mountains of New Mexico at a retreat. The purpose of that retreat was to re-examine my life, learn new ways to live, and let the awful things that needed to break me … More This plague kills illusions
The Painted Corner 