Knotted

I think my eyes are bigger than my stomach, metaphorically speaking. If you take a look at my projects and ARG pages, you’ll see a LOT of things in the works. I have so many ideas, so many things that are like gushers in my skull.

And I think I’m coming to realize that I’m not going to be able to produce all of them. At least, not by myself.

I’m decent with tech, but I’ve willingly given up the bleeding edge on it. I was never wired for programming, but I made myself do it because I had a project and had something tied to it to drive it. I’ve let tech learning go in favor of self-care.

The fact is that I like playing with toys – I’m not a serious tech-head. So I’m easily frustrated and even more easily confused when I’m, say, attempting to learn the coding language and procedures behind the Quest system for a text adventure. Or when I’m trying to learn Audacity to create a podcast.

I’ve been attempting these things because I can’t afford to hire someone to develop and produce for me. And I certainly don’t know anyone. Same with artwork – I’m a pretty good writer; I’m about on a third-grade level with visual arts. So someone else needs to be brought on board for any visual material.

All costing money that I don’t have.

It’s easy to get depressed about it. Easy to have that beautiful creative gusher turn into a massive knot of frustration, because I can’t make what I want to make.

Haven’t figured out a way around that one, yet.


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